omfg!
Monday 8 Feb 10
I have black nails because of Burlesque btw!
Scary
Sunday 7 Feb 10
I'm still in LA, and about to go and be in a play. Yes, that's right. It's called An Oak Tree and is written by my friend Tim Crouch. He is in it, and at this afternoon's performance, so am I. I have purposely not found anything out about it, not read reviews. Each show he has a different actor with him and you have a thing in your ear, and apart from that I know nothing.
Off into the wide blue beyond. More later.
Newsflash! Storms hit LA!!
Saturday 6 Feb 10
The fact that I don't have TV plumbed into my apartment (and the use of the word 'plumbed' is not accidental) means that being in a hotel, and especially being in a hotel in LA, makes this medium seem all the more insane, and inane, to me. A movie-set trailer is essentially a hotel room at work and yesterday I was in my trailer reading the New York Times at the same time as watching Good Day LA on TV. Now I know it is easy to mock the differences between one - the most trusted East Coast news tome - and the other, a morning infotainment show in a city where box office grosses and celebrity break-ups pass for the zeitgeist. And we all know California is a near bankrupt state whose most potent ethos is getting stoned and going surfing, but come on!! Today's leading stories were how to get your best orgasm after 40, bio terrorism and four silent killers in women. And those were the hard stories. The bulk of the show was taken up with the critical question of whether Howard Stern is going take over from Simon Cowell on American Idol.
I have long mocked the news when I come here, and I know I should get over it and accept things for what they are, but I just can't. Those stories like 'Is what you're eating right now killing you? Find out at 11pm' are so sensational, manipulative, fear-inducing and purely designed to avert the dial being changed and therefore any possible ad revenue disappearing that I feel the stations that use these techniques deserve everything they have coming to them.
Today it is raining in Los Angeles and people are freaking out. Of course we all freak out a bit at what we are not used to. About ten years ago I was here in January and the rains started and on the evening news the top story was a shot of a street drain with water going into it (surely what is supposed to happen to a drain?) and there was low, scary music and an ominous voice saying 'Storms Hit LA'!! Then another time I was shooting something here and it was windy. The morning news had a special wind report (yes, really) and the lovely lady behind the desk announced that they were going over live to Burbank to see some of the carnage. We then cut to an equally lovely and well-groomed man who told us that the winds had now subsided (so why go live to Burbank then, I remember asking the television) but he did have with him a woman who was going to tell us how these fearful gusts had ruined her morning. The camera panned to a little lady who told us that on her way to work that morning the wind had blown her hair and mussed it up so much that she had to go home and do it all over again! Well, hold the front page, people!
Ask Alan
Pauline from Carnoustie writes: I've just read the article you wrote for The Lady, your life seems a million years away from the ordinary wee lad from Carnoustie. I've lived here for only 13 years bringing my kids up here and loving the place and the people. Do you ever come back and visit or reminisce? (Carnoustie is a little town in Angus in Scotland, near where I grew up, and where I went to school) I haven't been back to Carnoustie for many years. I used to go with my ex-wife to visit my in-laws who lived there, and when I come to Angus now I go to see my Mum in Monifieth. But I have fond memories of Carnoustie beach and the funfair every summer, and of wandering along the High Street during school lunch hour, and also of doing plays with the theatre club and the musical society. But yes, my life is very different from when I was a wee boy. I feel just the same though.
Will you be working with Jennifer Jason Leigh again any time soon? I really hope so. The Anniversary Party is one of my proudest achievements, and I love JJL dearly. I think these things are sort of organic and if they are going to happen they will. We obviously aren't full-time writer-directors and there are other things going on in our lives, especially hers right now as she is about to become a mum. But we talk about it whenever we have lunch together so I hope we do one day. But whatever, I am so happy to have her in my life and to have had such a great time together from our past.
While living in the UK for a short time, I was very fortunate to see your performances in Bent and The Bacchae. Your theatre work is so varied, those plays being perfect examples, and I wondered what elements you look for in a script that makes you say "I have to be a part of this!"? On a personal note, I have to say that Bent was the most poignant performance on stage I've ever seen. I admit that I initially went to see it because you were in it, however by the end of it, I was so overcome by the story you and the cast had told, it was difficult to walk out into the sunny London afternoon and not feel guilty that I could do so. I want to thank you for telling a story that is so often overlooked when we hear about the Holocaust, because the tragedy and loss endured by every community involved was significant. I honestly don't know how an actor finds the strength to put themselves through that experience day after day, because it was so emotional, but the passion, dedication and integrity with which you embark up upon these projects commands the most genuine respect from myself and your fans. I wish you all the best in success, happiness and love. Thanks so much! Bent is an amazing play but it was one of the most harrowing things I've ever had to do. My way of getting through it was by making sure that as soon as the curtain came down I had as much fun as possible with the rest of the cast! Sometimes audience members would be really traumatised and upset and want to talk to me but I really couldn't engage with them. I knew how they felt because I had just been through it onstage and I felt if I were to be able to continue to do my job I had to draw a line at the end of the play and leave that depsair onstage. But it really took it out of me. In terms of how I choose plays, it's on a very instinctive level, and there is usually something about the story as well as the character that I connect with and therefore want to be a part of. But as I say, it's instinctive and gut and sometimes it's a little irrational!
Jen asks I was just wondering if you had ever considered playing the phantom or Rouel in phantom of the opera? You know Jen, I have never considered either!! And I think that's for the best for all of us.
Why do you change your hairstyles so much? Have you always done this? I suppose I just like being able to look different and change both how I feel and how people perceive me. When I was a little boy my dad made me keep my hair really short, and he would even cut it himself sometimes if he thought it was too untidy, so I imagine in some way my changing my hair so often is in some way about exerting my independence and my personality in an area that was so prescribed to me in my formative years. Gosh, that felt like a therapy session. Your check is in the post, dear reader.
And finally here is a joke from Lynn Stuart who is a relocation specialist:
A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads "Panda: Large black and white mammal native to China. Eats shoots and leaves."! You know what, Lynn? I heard a slightly dirtier version of that joke!!
Presenting Mr Leon
Friday 5 Feb 10
This is my other dog, Leon. He is a medium-haired chihuahua and is quite a big personality. Leon's hobbies include eating, eating and licking people in lieu of eating.
This picture brings back happy memories. It was taken a few years ago when we were driving in my VW Camper Van, Herb, to Toronto for the film festival. On the way we stopped and spent the night in a camp site and cooked dinner over an open fire and heard bears sniffing around as we slept in Herb's upstairs bunk. The next night I was walking the red carpet for the premiere of my movie. I remember thinking how horrified the paps and the press would be had they seen me the night before - covered in soot, twigs in my hair, crouched over a campfire on my knees, blowing till I was dizzy to keep the flames alive. Leon was not a fan of the camp site. He likes his comforts, and the great outdoors are not really his passion. Honey, on the other hand, whilst seemingly demure and ladylike in the city becomes a feral beast in the country, spending her evenings on the deck of our house staring off into the darkness like a native American chief, protecting us from who knows what.
Honey and Leon make cameo appearances in my friend David Raleigh's video of his song I Do, which is currently playing on LOGO channel. The other dog at the end of the video is Acteon, who belonged to my friends Josh and Lucio, but who sadly died not long after the video was shot. My friend Ned and I made this video last summer.
I just got home after a long day of rehearsals. I have been contorting with two lovely girls called Victoria and Shannon. It is so amazing to work with people so talented. I think any artist just wants to tell a story, and so how great it must be to be able to tell a story with your whole body. I also spent some time standing on a bar lip-synching to myself singing That's Life. It's a funny old world indeed. My old friend Joey Pizzi is choreographing this movie. I met Joey a long time ago when I first came to New York because we both had the same agent, and Joey was my first NY friend. Who would have thunk that when we first met we would wind up working together years later in Hollywood, trying to figure out how to get a tortilla chip into my mouth via a girl's foot ?! Uh, not me!!
RSS Oh Yes! Oh Yes!
Thursday 4 Feb 10
Please witness democracy at work! The people speak and the people are listened to and action is taken! There is no partisan, negative nelly Senate here at alancumming.com deliberately blocking the wishes of you, the people.
You asked for a RSS feed. You now have it. It is up on the right, that little green radar thing. Click it, it's yours.
My work is done here. I am away to rehearse with two contortionists who previously worked on Britney's Circus tour. Oh yes, get me. Cher, Christina, Britney.
Hell A
Wednesday 3 Feb 10
I just got back to my hotel from dinner with my lovely friend Christopher. We met 11 years ago on the set of The Flinstones in Viva Rock Vegas. He had to wrench my skin-tight spandex green leggings off me after a day of being flown around as The Great Gazoo. A friendship was born. Then he was the costume designer on both The Anniversary Party and Suffering Man's Charity. He is a darling and a hoot AND he used to be a dancer on American Bandstand.
In hotels I tend to watch much more TV than usual. This is because I don't have TV in my NYC apartment. Many years ago I made a decision to have the cable box taken away. I think it is for the best. It's actually amazing how easy it is to be totally au fait with popular TV culture without having to watch it. Everything of note is discussed, or even re-shown, on the internet. Hardly anything makes me wish I could have seen it as it was broadcast.
Tonight I discover that lovely little Lindsey Lohan is a hoarder. I guess we should be happy in that this seems less creepy than being paid to go half way round the globe to hang on the arm of a rich Austrian. But I mean, really. And Heidi Montag's mother looked at her like she was a farm animal after all her surgeries, and this made Heidi feel sad.
Wake and smell the coffee, Heidi. There are people dying in Haiti because they have no food or water. There are people dying all over the world because they are soldiers or gay (or both) or don't agree with someone else's opinion. That makes ME sad. No, your plastic surgeries do make me sad. And Lindsey's hoarding makes me sad. Sad that they are newsworthy. And sad that I am even writing about them now.
So I will stop. And instead let's have some showbiz trivia about me. It's Ask Alan time, everyone!!!
What kind of dog is Honey? She 's a mutt. A Collie/Shepherd mix (we think)
Jane asks: Have you ever had a paranormal experience?
Jane. I have never had a normal experience. But I think I do believe in left-over energy and the power of that energy to make things happen that can seem ghosty and spirity.
I remember you saying that when you became a nationalised American, the process was being filmed for the History Channel. What is the programme called as I keep going through on Sky to try & find it but I don't know the title of it. Also the programme where you interviewed Stanley Baxter ~ I keep looking out for that one as well, but again, I don't know the name of the programme.
I had forgotten about that naturalization documentary and so will endeavour to find out more. The Stanley Baxter show is called When Alan met Stanley and is on BBC on February 22nd
Catherine from Lowell, Massachusetts: I was wondering if you are planning on performing in Boston (or Lowell) at any time. I'm also wondering if you are going to ever write/direct another movie or if you are ever planning to turn Tommy's Tale into a film version?
Funny you should ask, Catherine, but I will be performing in Boston very soon at a gala. Watch this space. I am always thinking about writing or directing another movie, but right now I am happy doing little internet things (see What Alan's Done), and no, Tommy's Tale - the Movie is now officially dead, because I bought back the rights as I didn't like my own adaptation of my novel (I know, crazy!)
M writes: Hi, Alan, I've admired you for many years now. I know you've come to Australia a few times (most recently to do "I bought a Blue Car Today", but I was wondering; have you ever been to Western Australia, and if not, do you have any desire to go. More importantly, what do YOU think; If somebody were to clone themselves, then have sex with their clone, is it incest or masturbation?
Well M, I was looking forward to coming to Western Australia, but your misuse of the semi-colon combined with your crazy question has scared me off.
Claire from France writes: I have found myself daydreaming of a duet between you and Michael Stipe. I know you guys ooze very different energies, but still. Just because I love you both. Would you like that? I figure it's not entirely unconceivable -at a charity event/show maybe?- if only both of you fancied it...
I would love that, Claire. Let's ask the universe.
You'll be doing the sequel to Scott W's steampunk novel, right? Very enjoyable even though I'm only a young adult "at heart" by now.
I sincerely hope so. (Claire is referring to Leviathan, a novel I recently read on CD).
You'll continue on the (solo) musical route after Blue Car, right? Now that you've taken root so deeply in my inner musical landscape, I can think of so many songs you'd be great in! I find your range of expression, from sheer energy, lust for life, wit, all the way down to pure sensitivity, so invigorating, like a healthy vitamin mix.
Keep on taking me, Claire. And yes, I fully intend to keep on crooning!
A really unimportant one, but I'm curious. Any advice for miserable beings like me who have always felt sorely inadequate and frustrated at big parties?
See the video below
I mean, come on!
Tuesday 2 Feb 10
I am writing this from my trailer on the set of Burlesque. So far I have done one tiny scene with Peter Gallagher and some extras, in which I wore a skin-tight shirt that made me look like I was tattooed, a sort of skirt with zips, boots with spats, a tweed vest and black gloves. Oh, and a lot of eye liner. It is quite the schizophrenic experience going between this character (he's called Alexis) and my political analyst in a suit with greying temples in the The Good Wife (he's called Eli Gold). I am now wearing Comme des Garcons pants that are so baggy they look like a skirt, a black and white stripy sweater, suspenders, boot and spats again, and a big long shiny black coat with a bowler hat with a little red feather in its brim perched on my head at a jaunty angle. I have christened the look Edwardian club kid. Just saw the lovely Stanley Tucci and was able to congratulate him on this morning's Oscar nomination. I think I meet Cher in this next scene!
It is so galling to hear this man blatantly lie. He was a terrible Mayor of New York City, he threw people out of their homes, very nearly ruined the entire fabric of the city and now, since his political career has disintegrated, why do we even have to hear the bilge this man spews? Joe Biden was so right when he said that Guiliani only ever mentioned a noun, a verb and 9/11. Now he can't even do that accurately.
Below Guiliani is today's random youtube video, which also answers a few questions that have come via Ask Alan...
Carry A Poem
Monday 1 Feb 10
I am fronting a campaign in Scotland, under Edinburgh's World City of Literature banner, called Carry A Poem which is encouraging people to read more poetry and also to carry poems around with them.
There are lots of events and talks coming up and also on the website you can see different people's favourite poems. I chose He Wishes For the Cloths of Heaven by Yeats.
Ask Alan...
Why are you the only famous actor from the British Isles who hasn't been in a Harry Potter movie?
I know, right!! I actually was nearly going to be in one a long time ago but the deal just didn't work out.
Kathy from PA writes: I have a funny photo of you wearing a t-shirt that says "I'm with dough ball". The reason I tell you all of those details is...I was wondering how often you actually recognize your fans when we meet you several times?
One more question...is there any way that you would do Cabaret again???
Yes, I totally recognise people, especially in New York because that's where I live and so I run into people at events. And I love that T-shirt! But no, I won't be doing Cabaret again. There was a move afoot a couple of years ago to remount it, but I'm sort of glad that it didn't happen. I think it's best to let things from the past stay in the past sometimes.
Susi writes: Hi Alan, I was always wondering if there's ever a possibility of you and Hugh Jackman singing a duet (maybe on stage)? I think it was a bit of a missed opportunity that Nightcrawler and Wolverine never decided to sing together.
Haha, X Men The Musical! I did sing at a gala thing last year in LA and Hugh was singing too. He did a duet with Amy Adams though, and I did one with Neil Patrick Harris. Maybe one day...
Buzika writes: When were you in Hungary? Don't you want intend to come again? We very love you.
I was in Hungary in 1997 to shoot a film called For My Baby, and I had an amazing time. We shot mostly in Budapest. I stayed in a hotel that had been Nai HQ during the Second World war. And I loved walking across the river to go to the Gellert Baths. I'd love to go back. Maybe I'll put that out to the universe and see what happens.
I just arrived in Los Angeles because I start shooting Burlesque tomorrow. I have a 6am call. Yikes.
My birthday party
Sunday 31 Jan 10
Last night I had my birthday party and I decided to embrace my entry into serious middle-age by having a Tupperware party. It was fantastic! Here I am getting my complimentary Tupperware products for being the host from the lovely Anita, our Tupperware lady. The bowl is designed by Brooke Shields, people!! Anita was really amazing. She held the attention and entertained a room of about fifty drunk people with aplomb and panache. I hope she sold a lot of stuff. Also, instead of getting presents I asked people to bring checks for Haiti and we raised over $1400 for Concern and Doctors Without Borders. Hooray for my friends and hooray for Tupperware!
Ask Alan
Rose asks: I am currently in my freshman year of college majoring in theater. Is there any advice you could give me about this experience ?
Well, Rose, work really hard and experiment and muck about and make mistakes and just dare to fail. You'll probably never have as much chance to do so ever again. But always make sure that you're having fun. If it becomes too torturous and intense then it might not be the thing for you. I think acting should be like kids playing. Also the more experiences you have in life, the more you have to draw on in your work. Be careful though, and if you can't be good, be good at it.
I assume you've heard about J.D. Salinger's death. Were you a fan of his work? Have you ever read his work?
The first time I read Catcher In The Rye I was going through a pretty intense phase of my own life and I felt like Salinger was describing what was going on in my head! I remember thinking that it probably wasn't the best book to be reading at that time! But that was what made him so amazing an artist - his ability to utterly inhabit the mind of a character. I want to go and read all his work again.
A bootlegger from Canada writes: I had a not-quite-legal copy of your film Prague on VHS years ago. It's a brilliant film and I wish it was available on DVD. Think that will ever happen?
Also, do you still have a house in Canada? Fancy popping over for a BBQ the next time you're here?
Well, Mr or Ms bootlegger, I wish Prague would come out on DVD, but considering it has been 18 years since it came out in cinemas I am sensing it's not going to happen!! I really like the film too, I have such fond memories of making it. It was the first full-length feture film I'd ever been in. Recently, when I was in London getting my OBE, I had a party and Ian Sellar, the director of Prague, came along. It was so great to see him.
Secondly, I don't have a house in Canada and never have. I have rented places in Vancouver when I have been filming, but never had anywhere permanent. But next time I'm there, I'd love a grilled courgette.
Nadine says: My friend Taryn just love you and we were wondering if you knew how to get tickets for London premier's because we really want to go to the Alice In Wounderland one!!
Nadine, I think you should stay at home and practice your syntax and spelling instead of gallivanting off to premieres.
My friend Eddie made this...
Saturday 30 Jan 10
My dear friend Eddie makes films about the fashion world and this is the latest one. I think it's great. I met Eddie on a film called Company Man eleven years ago. He was assisting the costume designer, Ruth Myers, and I was playing General Batista of Cuba (as you do). I took a photo of him on the very first day we met. We have been through thick and thin together, and he is the funniest, kindest person. He is my dog Honey's favourite person, and she is not easy to please. She even spent the holidays with him and his family. This pic was taken by Eddie's brother-in-law.
Anyway, Eddie is now a fashionista and I think we should all subscribe to his youtube account and support him