Tuesday 25 May 10
I am having a flash back to years ago: I am about thirteen. It's one of those spring nights where everything is still apart from the birds tweeting and maybe a distant cow or sheep. I'm at the top of the house. I've been dealing with my family all day. I'm exhausted. I want to go to sleep but I know I have things to do. My nails are slightly too long and when I scratch myself they scare me, like I'm going to slash my face. I have all the windows open and it's almost too cold, but not cold enough to stir me to move.
I wonder if I stay here I'll just disappear.
Tonight there are no cows or sheep, just the occasional hum of traffic, heading up towards Haymarket station or down to Stockbridge. The light here is so reminiscent of all those nights I spent lying in my boyhood room staring out of the window, seeing how still I could be.
But now it's a little too cold. I opened the windows on both sides of this attic hotel suite and there is a chilly breeze. And I have to go eat. And the clacking of my too long nails on these keys is freaking me out a bit.
Tartan Day/Week aside, and purely artistic studio photo shoots aside, did you ever model for a fashion collection or brand? (Bonus question, does your friend Christian Siriano only design women's clothes?) I have done a bit of modeling over the years - a GAP ad, I walked in a Tommy Hifiger show. I have done a print ad and walked a couple of times for my friend Cynthia Rowley. Bits and pieces, nothing too huge. And right now I think Christian only does women's.
What would you say has been the greatest thing you have done? Meeting Grant Shaffer.
Are there any film roles that you have been offered, but have turned down, that in hindsight you wish you had taken? Goerge Clooney's role in Up In The Air, Meryl Streep's role in Mamma Mia, Judi Dench's role in Elizabeth. Seriously, though, no regrets about anything. Everything is as it should be.
I am looking forward to seeing the series that you are currently recording in South Africa, & also 'Who Do You Think You Are'. I saw the episode with Jerry Springer a while ago & it was so emotional & very moving. If you found something out that was emotional, would you feel alright about showing your emotions on camera, or are you a very private person & would feel awkward about getting upset in public ? I have already had to think about the prospect of finding out something on camera that is upsetting, and the whole thing is very carefully designed so that you only find out stuff in the moment and whilst being filmed. If I cry, I cry. I will be being myself and that's good enough for anyone.
Random video of the day: An ad I did in 2004 for Orange.